A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops. They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. Apparently he'd been washing his hair.

The instructions on the bottle said:
Wet hair
Apply shampoo
Lather
Rinse
Repeat

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy..
if both are frozen.

The conditions attached to a promise are forgotten long before the promise.

The UNIX Guru's View of Sex:

 unzip ;
 strip ;
 touch ;
 finger ;
 mount ;
 fsck ;
 more ;
 yes ;
 umount ;
 sleep

Or perhaps not...
Consider the following:

 server% make love
 Don't know how to make love.
 server%

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