| Oprah Winfrey Virus: |
Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 MB, and
then slowly expands back to 200 MB. |
| Telstra Virus: |
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are
getting.
|
| Optus Virus: |
Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much
for the TELSTRA Virus.
|
| Paul Revere Virus: |
This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns
you of impending hard disk attack --- once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.
|
| Politically Correct Virus: |
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers
to itself as an "electronic microorganism".
|
| Right To Life Virus: |
Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old
it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a
consultant about possible alternatives.
|
| Government Economist Virus: |
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software
says everything is fine.
|
| Federal Bureaucrat Virus: |
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be
the most important part of your computer.
|
| Gallup Virus: |
Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
their data 14 percent of the time. (Plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
error.)
|
| Parliamentary Virus: |
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a
message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
|
| Airline Virus: |
You're in Perth, but your data ends up in Singapore.
|
| Freudian Virus: |
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.
|
| Elvis Virus: |
Makes your computer get fat and lazy, then self-destructs; only
to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.
|
| NIKE Virus: |
Just does it
|
| John Howard Virus: |
Promises your computer will be relaxed and comfortable.
Then deletes 20% of your Hard Disk.
|
| Wharfie Virus: |
Fails to load.
|
| John Newman Virus: |
Only attaches itself to very young files.
|
